Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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