Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
