I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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