doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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