maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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