Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
