So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
