So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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