Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
