i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
So here I am, sexting at work.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize