We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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