I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
