My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
