im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
