My cat gives me a boner
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize