I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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