Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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