I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
she woke up with a sticky ear
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
