just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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