I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
you mean i was at the winter classic?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
