I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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