And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
