i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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