saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
