It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize