How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You were trust falling into bushes
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?