she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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