stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
