He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
well you can't waste a boner
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
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