I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
worst night to have a conscience
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
