Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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