ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Plan B is the new Plan A
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
