And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm like, not good at living.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
