so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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