we're blogging at a bar
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
