Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
