he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
