yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Randomize