I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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