What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
