I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
