Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
