I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
