In the future we'll all be gay
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Randomize
