She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
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