We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
