So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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