Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
