Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
