Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
