So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
