the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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