Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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