I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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