You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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