I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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