Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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