How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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