yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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