I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
