There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
