So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
