YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
